Simon Says!

Week one:  Let’s play, “Simon Says!”

Simon says: “Open your mouth.”

Simon says: “Hold your breath so you don’t taste the glue from the brackets”

Simon says: “Don’t Move”

Simon says: “Rinse!”

Simon says: “Spit!”

Close your mouth!

Simon didn’t say to close your mouth, open again!

Simon says:  “Use plenty of wax.”

Simon says: “Use lots of floss.”

Simon says: “Take lots of Advil!”

Boy did Dr. Simon know what she was talking about with the wax and the Advil!!

Holy Moly! Oh my goodness sakes graciousness this hurts! 

Not to mention I feel like a baby who is learning to use their lips for the first time!

And when did that big guy sneak in and punch me in the face?  I know that’s what happened, because there is NO way some measly little wires can cause this much pain! GOOD GRIEF!

Things I have learned this week:

·         Dental wax is your best friend. However, the package may indicate "non-toxic" but I have yet to find out how well the "incidental swallowing of wax chunks" will affect my digestive system.  OH and the fact that silicon ear plugs serve the same purpose as ortho wax and is MUCH MUCH cheaper. 

·     Never, and I mean NEVER be fooled by the seemingly innocent, soft bean burrito, as it is NOT your friend and will wreak havoc on very tender front teeth.

·         I'm too old for this.

·     In regards to those lovely brackets on your teeth that are created to hold the rubber bands, while they may LOOK very much like antennas, they do NOT increase reception on the Texas / OU game and it does not bring in HDTV.

·         I'm too old for this…..I'm too old for this

And finally

·         I'm too old for this…….

The Consultation: "Let's make a deal!

Door #1 or Door #2?

 Have you ever looked through a magazine or newspaper and saw an advertisement that just draws you in?  In such a way that you HAVE to eat at the restaurant, or you HAVE to see that movie? 

I was thumbing through “The Advocate” magazine one day and found an ad for Lakewood Orthodontics. It was a normal ad, no different than most of the ones I see on a day-in, day-out basis, but there was something different about this one.  There was something different about this doctor’s photo. 

Something about Patricia Simon looked warm and comfortable and made me want to pick up the phone and schedule a consultation. 

Which was exactly what I did, and just a few days later, I met the woman who would lead the team of professionals that would strip away my character, one crooked tooth at a time.

I met with her that day expecting her to say, “HOLY CROOKED CHARACTER TEETH BATGIRL! I can’t do a darn thing with that mouth” but instead she said, “I love challenging cases like yours!”  She was very matter of fact and very action oriented.  She knew immediately that she could make a difference and she knew EXACTLY how she was going to do it!

Challenging?  What EXACTLY is challenging?  She mentioned things like, overbite this, and 9mm that, and angled backwards this and yada yada yada.  She had some really cool 3D imaging software that showed me all the malfunctioning pieces and parts of my jaw and how things SHOULD work in a perfect mouth. She reinforced the fact that I had terrible TMJD, which I already knew and discussed headaches, sinus problems, etc.  Which again, I already knew, which was why I was there.

Then she said something I wasn’t expecting to hear. A word I had not thought of… “Surgery.”

Huh? Wha? Surgery?

Seems my lower jaw is too short and the only way it can be fixed is with surgery.  She continued to explain that because of it being too short, my upper teeth have slanted inward to meet the lower jaw, causing my lovely vampire teeth and shoving my lower jaw backward, causing the TMJD.

She also mentioned that if I didn’t opt for surgery, that she could straighten my teeth but my bite would still be terrible.  My bite was the whole cause for my TMJD, headaches, neck and sinus problems!  She said that if I committed to surgery, her orthodontic approach would be a completely different route then if I didn’t, so I need to make a firm commitment one way or the other.

So Door #1 – Straight teeth, terrible bite

Door #2 – Surgery – straight teeth, perfect bite – no more TMJD – diminished headaches – better sinuses

Seemed like a no brainer to me.  A little bit scary….. But a no brainer.  

Why would I only want straight teeth?

 I mean yes that is a wonderful idea in and of itself but the whole purpose is to feel better. Right?

Right……….

So we went ahead and did all the x-rays, photos, financial agreements, and plaster molds (they can flavor the plaster now to make that experience much more pleasant, I believe I had cherry flavored plaster) and scheduled an appointment for 2 weeks later to have my braces put on.

They also showed me a video on youtube that had an animated display of what happened during the surgery.  It’s a procedure in which the surgeon, from the inside of your mouth, not outside, basically splits your jaw, extends it, and then fastens it tougher with plates and screws. Talk about metal mouth!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbzmcNspNiw

It was very informative but led me down a crazy path of research regarding this surgery.  A path that one (Sharon) might say was more like an obsession, but hey, it’s a scary thing to have your face broken in half and then screwed back together, so the more information I can gather the better.

The Plan:
Braces on September 2010
Wisdom teeth extraction - November 2010
Orthognathic (Jaw surgery) - 12-18 months after braces go on

On a side note:

I do have to say that Dr. Simon’s office is one of the most professional and accommodating practices I have ever had the experience of working with.  She and her staff are amazing! They go above and beyond to make you comfortable and informed.  She takes the time to explain EVERYTHING and will even return phone calls herself instead of making her staff do it.  I am very blessed to be working with such a great team.  The ad I saw that drew me to her was not false or misleading, it was a Godsend.

Great overbite! 

Check out that fang!

                                                           Where did my lower teeth go?

And people wondered why I never smiled?!

The definition of "Character"

Character –

As defined by Webster’s

–noun

1.

the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing.

2.

one such feature or trait; characteristic.

3.

moral or ethical quality: a man of fine, honorable character.

Character –

As defined by Grace Eleanor Smith, A.K.A. Mom:

-noun

the jacked-up teeth grown by yours truly, including the canine and incisor which, due to my jaw being too small, proceeded to protrude outward and grow over my other teeth, giving me the appearance of Dracula on a good day and a mix between a jackal and a warewolf on other days.

As a child, it was obvious to both my parents and my dentist, that my teeth were crowded and would never grow properly.  The overcrowding forced my teeth into positions that were just… well for lack of a better term, “jacked up.”  When confronted with the option of braces, my mother always just said, “You don’t need them baby, your crooked teeth just give you “character.”

Character? Seriously Mom?

I guess that being made fun of, in a strange sort of way gave me some character, at least the kind that made me sensitive to others.  I feel however; as if I could have gotten that same character from my faith in God, and from my love of babies, puppies and humankind.

Seriously though, I realize now, after actually paying for braces out of pocket, how expensive they are, and orthodontic treatment wasn’t something insurance covered back in the day. I have only the utmost respect for my mother trying to spin the fact that they couldn’t afford to put me in braces into such a positive light. I really love her for that. God bless her.

So fast forward 38 years. I finally decided that the headaches, the jaw pain, the chronic sinus problems and the overall refusal to smile had overloaded me with character. 

In fact, it was time to find a way to lessen it a little.

So the quest began.......